The Wit & Wisdom of Matt Beckenham

Matt Beckenham is the backbone of the company's marketing department.

Employed as a hot-shot CRM coordinator, Matt Beckenham has elevated himself to an integral and essential part of the business. A further feather to his ample bow, Matt mastered HTML, and has since sent out literally hundreds of HTML emails, created ground breaking animated GIFs and, more recently, radically updated the company's online presence with an updated favicon.

This web page documents the Wit and Wisdom of Matt Beckenham.

I’m not multi-cultural, I’m pure Devon pudding me

There's a lot of money to be made from food forecasting

You know, when you dunk a Hobnob in tea it tastes just like mackerel

Cream always rises to the top and you lot are curdling me

I hate Cluedo - always too taxing for my brain. I was more of a Hungry Hippo man

A moment of shattered hope is better than a lifetime of regret

Stop quoting me!

Are you measuring my width?

The only race I've got anything against is the egg & spoon

They're quite sweet aren't they? After about 6 though, they're quite more-ish

No-one touches my love bug

You won't get 365 quotes out of me

My body thermostat's set to Matt

I'm a little fruit bat at home

The more you know, the higher you go

Get out of my face, lunchbox

Sit down, stackhouse

Basically, I've broken her. I'm leader of the pack again

At the end of the day, I'm only play-acting

As far as I'm concerned, the bedroom is for two things: nookie and napping

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